trophy lists are the new back-of-the-box spoilers

I don't know when we collectively decided that a list of every major story beat, complete with chapter titles and sometimes even ending descriptors, isn't a spoiler. But it is. It absolutely is.

I remember when the Vice City strategy guide came out and I had to actively avoid flipping to the wrong page. Now the equivalent is just sitting there on a trophy list three weeks before launch, and people post it like it's a weather report. Chapter names like "The Final Score" or "A Friend Departs" aren't subtle. They telegraph the entire emotional arc. For a game that's supposedly built around a Bonnie and Clyde dynamic, I don't want to know if the last trophy is called "Till Death Do Us Part" or "Sunset Over Vice." That's the whole movie.

Tag it. Tag all of it. I don't care if it's "just a list." A list of chapter titles is a synopsis, and I don't read the synopsis before I walk into the theater.