florida satire targets and their $/hr potential in gta 6

Rockstar's going to mine every Florida headline for content, and I'm already doing the math on which ones become the new meta. Cocaine Cowboys is the obvious one. A 1980s-themed passive drug business that ties into the nightclub warehouse loop. If it's anything like the MC businesses but with a Vice City aesthetic, I'm guessing $80k per sale every 2 hours, minus the raid risk. Not great $/hr unless they buff it.

Python hunts could be the sleeper. A hunting business where you bag invasive pythons and sell skins. If they give us a 48-minute cooldown and $50k per haul, that's $62.5k/hr. Worse than Cayo but better than crates if you're solo. I'd run it during cooldowns.

The condo-collapse news cycle is too dark to ignore. I bet we get property maintenance fees. Miss a payment and your safehouse gets condemned, lose all your heist planning boards. That's not income, that's a cost sink. Florida Man random events will be the new store robberies, $10k a pop. Retirement communities as a front business, like the arcade but with bingo nights, $5k/day passive. The real satire is we'll grind it all anyway.